Dreams and Work

Last night I dreamt I had a cuttlefish in my pocket and I went to a bar with my sister and a friend. I couldn't decide what to drink, and it was really perturbing. In the meantime, I took the cuttlefish out of my pocket and put it in a dish. The bartender put fresh water in the dish before I could stop him--and I watched as the cuttlefish jerked and struggled. I tried to add salt to the water...but it was too late. He died. I have lots of dreams about dying cuttlefish. I think it is a result of when those many cuttles died at once--it was pretty disturbing. I guess I have anxiety about any more of them dying.
This morning, the new guy told me he had to go to a meeting and could I feed the rest of the cuttlefish. I had just been thinking how I sort of missed feeding them in the mornings, so I agreed. It's crazy how big they have gotten!! And many of them are very aggressive now and they fight over their food, sometimes twisting violently to free themselves from the other cuttlefish arms enveloping them.
I talked to another intern here whom I like very much. She is working with tunicates and sea bass (not together). Her work sounds really fascinating and I always enjoy getting updates. The new project with the sea bass involves acoustics and a conditioned response (like Pavlov's dog). They are trying to see if they can train these fish to respond to a tone and congregate in one spot. It seems that they have been very successful thus far, but I am curious to see how long they can elicit that response if it is not repeated every day--how long is a fish memory? Also, what are the repercussions of doing this in the open ocean? Would it even work? It would be an interesting alternative to aquaculture.
When I talk to this other intern about her work, I can't help but wonder about the work that I am doing. Of course I am thoroughly enjoying working with the cuttlefish, but what are the results? Why are they important? Does it matter if I compile information that says cuttlefish often sit by a rock when in their vicinity?
I love science--I love talking about science, learning about science, finding out what other people are studying and what it can be used for. But, I think in the current time, with the abominable state of the planet, it is irresponsible to study science for science sake. I think it is important to have a result that can somehow lead to a greater benefit; that has an impact for the better. I know that is somewhat of a controversial argument, but I am feeling a bit useless right now. How am I contributing?
The data that I collect will be stored in a computer, perhaps to be published someday, or maybe not. A publication is looking less and less likely.
But, is what I am doing science? I take photos all day, it feels very tedious, I don't feel stimulated. I'm almost done with these trials and then will begin data analysis. I think once that starts, I will a bit better about what I am doing. But, it's hard not to question my choice to be a scientist--if this is what it is, is it really what I want? I love science, I always have--but maybe I have discovered I don't love science in the lab...I need the field work to balance me out. Sorry, I'm having a bit of an existential crisis on my blog right now--I'm sure I'll be over it soon.
Phew, sorry about that--I'm done. Back to the cuttles!! At least they are really cute :)