I feel sick

I have my meeting this afternoon. I feel like I might vomit...or cry. I was feeling fine before, but now that it is actually going to happen--it's real. I am going to be here for a long time. I'm excited, but also, I've realized that I did kind of back myself into a corner by applying to work with Les. I will spend the next five years studying deep sea coral. Is that what I really want to do? Was I supposed to know what I wanted to do? Apparently, yes. Everyone else knows. Ugh. I just feel sick.

I'm going snorkeling this weekend. I've decided that I am just going to go. I need to spend some more time in the water. That's what keeps me going. I have to remember why I came here. I just hope I don't cry in front of the professors. I've been holding it together, but now all of the sudden I feel overwhelmed with emotion. Bad timing...